Today I will not fear that every moment could be my last
Today I go to my Lord with arms open wide
I’ve been fighting depression (again) letting myself wander down to the deepest little little recess in my mind.These are the places that are only available on my very dark days and I need to climb out but my strengths wain. I even don’t feel ready to come out of this yet because then I have to face the whole load of crap that has been building up around me waiting for me to face. I’m just not quite there yet and numb for just a while longer gives me a mental vacation that I otherwise I would have struggled more without.
I know that when I am ready, the Heavenly arms of my Father await me bidding me near to carry my burdens and to say that all is well, I need only trust in Him.
So without further ado, I will put this aside and pray that I Have the mental and spiritual capacity to take up God’s offer sooner than later.
To pull yourself out of depression can be daunting. It really feels as if you do need to pull yourself out. Nothing seems to alter depression with the constant strength that it has to drag you further and further in without your permission.
“Hear my cry O Lord, attend unto my prayer
From the depths of the earth, do sing out to thee
And when my heart is overwhelmed, lead me to the rock
That is higher than I, that is higher than I.”
from one of the Psalms (sorry I do not remember which one)
You don’t have to fight back, you just have to hand it over God to carry you in His arms to a safe place where you needn’t feel afraid of slipping further and further down.
I am in that place now and God gave me the inspiration to write so that I can remember what I already know… that He is my shepherd and will not let me leave from the place without coming to find me and carry me to safety.
Reflect on life and all the blessings I’ve been given
I thank You and the people You use to make my life better to live in
We are to be thankful in all, we are taught as You can make all things work for our good, no matter how situations may appear in the onset.
Yet, I’ve found that there is even more blessing given in thankfulness than just the good that You can use it for in my life.
When someone has gifted me with time, prayer, a material gift or their care, thankfulness is a must. Not because it is society’s ethics and standards, but rather because their is a place in my heart that remains empty feeling if I do not relay the thankfulness that presses from within to be freed to both You and the person who has blessed me.
I’ve found that when we are thankful, a ripple of joy and love is spread. We are automatically connected to God when we are thankful as it is His commandment for us to be so, but we are also filled with the joy of knowing that we have blessed another with the kindness that those two simple words bring that person (or people) and ourselves. We are given the joy of seeing the divine power that those words bring to another when they are said with sincerity and love. We are given the joy of knowing that this person is blessed simply because they gave in some way and we have acknowledged it (although many people feel very humbled when being thanked).
It is not only important to be thankful, but also important to accept the thanks of others as unnecessary humility takes away the joy in thankfulness. I often say “you’re welcome, but the thanks belong to God, not me”. I’ve come to realize, however, that I am taking away the pleasure of the person’s genuine joy in thanking me. My lesson, that has come through years of this overly-humble attitude, is what I want to impart to you today, to enjoy all facets of thankfulness, in giving, receiving and in praying with God about it.
Ps 50:23 Those who sacrifice thank offerings honour Me, and to the blameless, I will show my salvation.
Often we focus on how much we have disappointed God; how we have let Him down and in doing so, have let ourselves down. It is so easy to focus on our iniquities rather than the ways that we may have made God smile. We feel unworthy and when we feel as if we’ve failed and it is easy to get caught up to the point where we feel so bad about our weaknesses that we can feel defeated and so discouraged that we do nothing to step forward into God’s plan for us.
We read that God is love; that His son has been sent as an atonement for our sins. We are promised that once we have confessed our sins, God reconciles us to Him through the body and blood that His son gave up for us. This is not only a divine thought, but one that is foreign to our human nature which is finite and emotional. Our human nature finds God’s unconditional love almost too good to believe as we witness our own frailties and those of the people around us.
If you were the parent of a child that refused to try to take another step because they fell once, you would do all within your power to encourage that child to learn to walk again. If the child failed a math test, you would encourage them to study, review, try again until the lesson was learned.
God is our Heavenly Father and loves us infinitely and completely. His patience for us to grasp the magnitude of how unfailing His love is, is as great as His love for us.
God has a purpose all of our lives. Meaning that He has pre-ordained a plan for us to share His love in some way with others. It may be that God has given you a heart to pray for others; it may be that He has called you to leave what you know to serve others in a foreign land. You may be called to write, or to be a loving example to others so that others can, through your presence want more of His love, which all of our spirits long for.
If you feel that you have failed God, failed in life, failed yourself and the others that God has put in your life; seek God’s forgiveness and then move on as if the past was not there. Once we ask forgiveness, God forgives AND forgets. It is gone. He allowed His son to carry our sins unto death to assure our forgiveness.
Any fear that we have is not of God’s world. Fear is not of God. Ask God to rid you of fear and to fill you with His Holy Spirit and to give you the courage to step out of whatever is trapping you away from carrying out His loving plan for you. You will feel the beauty of God’s love wash over you as you move forward.
May you be blessed in your walk and encouraged in your moments of frailty, to step out in the arms of God’s love.
PS 119; 9 – 12
How can a young person stay on the path of purity?
By living according to your word.
I seek you with all my heart;
do not let me stray from your commands.
I have hidden your word in my heart
that I might not sin against you.