Helpless to Help

Helpless to Help

Lord.. I want so much to help, but nothing I do is making a difference. What can I do to help this person?

Today I’m going to…

Ask You Lord to show me how to pray

I ‘ll know Your love is stronger than mine, and Your plan is the way

photo by Easter Ellen


There are times in life where a friend, family member or loved one chooses a path of self-destruction. This is not only difficult to watch, but often we dedicate ourselves to saving this person, trying in multiple ways, sometimes for years, to help this person.


God tells us again and again that He is the creator of our days and plans our lives down to the last second and hair on our head. When we see a loved one drowning in self destruction, Jesus tells us to love them, despite how frustrating it can be to watch them. To love them unconditionally. Through our love, we speak more volumes than all of the help they are resisting can, as they resist it.

When we reach out and continue to stand by in their lives with love, they are given the rope to the anchor of God’s love, which will heal them when they are ready. Yours is to plant the seeds and nurture with love, God’s is to transform the seed, in its time, into a towering oak tree that will loom in majesty blessing others.


Psalm 139

You have searched me, Lord,
    and you know me.
You know when I sit and when I rise;
    you perceive my thoughts from afar.
You discern my going out and my lying down;
    you are familiar with all my ways.
Before a word is on my tongue
    you, Lord, know it completely.
You hem me in behind and before,
    and you lay your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
    too lofty for me to attain.

Where can I go from your Spirit?
    Where can I flee from your presence?
If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
    if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
    if I settle on the far side of the sea,
10 even there your hand will guide me,
    your right hand will hold me fast.
11 If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me
    and the light become night around me,”
12 even the darkness will not be dark to you;
    the night will shine like the day,
    for darkness is as light to you.

13 For you created my inmost being;
    you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
    your works are wonderful,
    I know that full well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you
    when I was made in the secret place,
    when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
16 Your eyes saw my unformed body;
    all the days ordained for me were written in your book
    before one of them came to be.
17 How precious to me are your thoughts,[a] God!
    How vast is the sum of them!
18 Were I to count them,
    they would outnumber the grains of sand—
    when I awake, I am still with you.

12 thoughts on “Helpless to Help”

  1. OH I have been there so many times. and actually am there now. Its in our nature to want to take control and make a difference, but sometimes the only thing we can do is all we are really meant to do, which is pray and trust GOD to touch their life. Its so hard though sometimes!


    1. I could not agree more. I am sorry you are going through the same thing. So difficult to watch. But I do have faith that God knows better than I on how to handle each situation.


        1. So very true 🙂 It can be very difficult to see that at the time, though.
          Again, this was related to yesterday’s post. But that entire blog is dedicated to overcoming depression and I try to give a little piece of God’s love and tenderness daily in it (the blog called Today I Can With God).


  2. What a lovely gift, Psalm 139. It is distressing, trying to figure out how to help–we don’t have magic wands, we can’t live their lives for them, it’s not our job to control or fix. Praying is all I can do, otherwise I seem to take on their burden and make it mine, which only doubles my trouble. God bless you abundantly today–you sound like a very loving person.


    1. Such very sound wisdom in your words! “otherwise I seem to take on their burden”. We already have enough to carry and God tells us to lay down our burdens except for the day’s.
      What a lovely comment.
      Thank you so much and God bless you wonderfully.


  3. You write with beautiful words and with deep meaning. I wish too how to better help a very dear relative who tends to make unwise choices that are hurtful to the family.Her choices also involve drug addiction and alcoholism. We all try to keep our faith in God and for his will to enter her heart and take hold.


    1. Thank you so very much for your kind comment of my writing. It is all from the heart and I try to remain as honest (even to the point of it hurting to be so raw and vulnerable), as I know there are hearts that need to see or read the stories.
      As from your relative, I am so very sorry. It is such a difficult thing to watch them make the choices. I tried forever to help her, fix her, drag her here and there, but decision was never mine to make.
      Mine is to pray and love.

      Thank you and may you and your family be abundantly blessed through this difficult time.



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